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Urvashi’s Blog

couple porn for women

Kama’s Corner – Porn for Women

Porn for Women – What exactly does that mean?

BY KAMA

When we think about producing porn for women (or porn for couples that include women) there are a number of things we can consider. What are the differences between “standard” porn and “porn for women”?  Of course, I’ll have to generalize, but here’s Spark Erotic’s answer:

 

First of all, most standard porn is shot from a purely male perspective which usually means focusing on the women in the scene and mostly on her genitalia. For instance, it’s rare to see expressions of pleasure on the men’s faces, something that women have told us they enjoy seeing in our films. I believe the reason for this is that standard porn is meant to be a sexual replacement and usually watched solo. It is filmed so a male watcher can project himself into the scene. Seeing men’s faces would disrupt that fantasy if a man wants to imagine he is the man. This is different from what a woman or couple would like to see as the sexual experience including both equally.

Spark Erotic has the benefit of both the female and male perspectives in our productions. Our female director, Urvashi, is focused on providing a balanced view of a female perspective (her vision) with a complementary male view (her male cameramen). She loves the portrayal of explicit sex but not as simply “staring” as much porn seems to be. As Director of Photography, I am always aware that I should plan and shoot to honor her vision and perspective. Likewise, Remy, our other cameraman and editor, operates in the same way. Ultimately, Urvashi is the final word on what vision is portrayed but the combination of our team’s unique ways of seeing makes the magic.

Second, porn for women generally has more context to the sexuality. A lot of male-centered porn is shot in the gonzo category which means they get right to the sex without bothering to tell a story or establishing any reason why the performers are having sex. Porn for women and couples generally spends time on developing context as a necessary and exciting part of the erotic portrayal. We liken the process to establishing characters and story in “normal films” so that the audience cares about the people they are watching and what happens to them. There is a reason they are having sex! That establishment of characters and context is similar to good foreplay. Take some time. . .don’t rush.

Third, porn for women in our opinion, should have a higher production value and esthetic which shows class and care. Sexuality is one of our greatest gifts and deserves to be treated with respect and conscious effort.  This matters to most women we’ve heard from. A quick spin through some typical porn site’s offerings will show quite the contrary – no attention to lighting (often crude), lazy camera work and a “cheap” vibe all around. Porn has a function and place but we want to offer another perspective.

Spark Erotic and our quality peers spend the time and energy to plan and produce true films. Spark writes scripts, creates storyboards, plans shots and lighting, locations and wardrobe – a multitude of details that add up to a different result, one that is more gourmet. Kind of the difference between gulping down a fast food burger or enjoying a fine meal. This is a big part of the difference between normal porn and erotica.

As we aim to produce “female friendly” porn we want to create a mix of the familiar and novel. We want the beginnings of our stories (the build up) to be shot with intent and quality. That provides comfort in the context as a starting point while the excitement builds. As we move towards the sexuality and approach that boundary we hope to have built the context to cross that boundary and feel great about it. A “behind the scenes” element of that is that Spark Erotic films are shot with people who know each other and have existing sexual relationships instead of being strangers showing up on set. That’s an important part to us of the authentic portrayal of sexuality.

Finally, we’re mindful of the feeling that our viewers have as an end result. Raw sexuality is exciting, but sometimes that simple excitement can leave a viewer with a dirty or nasty feeling in the end if the other elements of erotica are not in place. We pay a lot of attention to the set and setting of the sexuality to combine sexual arousal along with mental arousal. That creates a fuller experience which most women appreciate. Lots of people jump around, fast forwarding when they watch porn to find the instantly exciting parts. Our films are meant to be a journey from the introduction to the exciting sexuality and the story’s resolution.

In the end, we have a committed process for producing our films which fits our style and vision. Whether you call it porn for women or erotica, we hope you like the way we see things.

Urvashi’s Blog

The Beginning of Spark Erotic

BY URVASHI

Thank you soooo much for your support. You cannot even imagine what it means to us that you share our vision, enjoy our art, and believe in our efforts.

We wanted to take a little time to let you know a little more about the birth of Spark Erotic and where we are today.

Spark was born from Urvashi’s Eye, an erotic photography business created and operated by Kama and myself, Urvashi – a husband/wife team. Celebrating the New Year of 2015, I began to form the idea of taking our signature look into film.

Having been an erotic photographer and model for the past decade had forced me to take a deep look at myself and my views on sex and sexuality in general. It pushed everyone of my buttons. I remember each step of the way feeling very nervous and afraid but deciding to press into the discomfort rather than shield myself from the experience. I asked the hard questions of why I felt the ways I did and if that was an appropriate response or a trained one. I wanted to reclaim a part of me I felt had been shamed and guilted into hiding. Doing the work through photography was gratifying and fulfilling. I felt that I had healed from the many wounds society and personal experience had placed upon my sexuality. It left me feeling humble and unable to be judgmental about other’s genuine journeys and expression. It also left me feeling proud, strong, and confident. I loved being female and I loved being sensual and sexy and sexual.

I wanted to use Kama’s and my experience in photography to artfully depict authentic sexual expression in film. I felt as if there was nothing I had found in porn that felt real when sex was involved. Whenever I watched porn, I cringed. It always left me feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed, slightly dirty, betrayed, angry, and confused. I could feel aroused, but the other emotions got in the way. Instead of making me amorous, porn usually made me feel sexually numb. I wanted to make films that had hardcore sex that women would want to watch. Not only would they want to watch them, they would be turned on and want to share this with their partner(s). These films would make them feel sexy, confident, and powerful. I also wanted to reach the male audience. I wanted them to see a hot, hardcore sex scene, but one that they didn’t want to just get their rocks off to. I wanted to draw them in as well, to make them identify with the story that led to the sex. I wanted sex partners to watch our films in mutuality, sparking discussion as well as passion.

Another major part of this, is that I wanted to make films that I felt would educate the viewers on accurate human sexual experience. I felt that from what I was observing and the conversations I had with so so so many people, that people were getting their sex education or sexual expectations primarily from porn. As I delved into the facts I discovered that the average age children see full on hardcore sexual acts is 11, that young men in their twenties are having erectile dysfunction from porn addictions, and that 42% of sexual images/films represent different forms of abuse and misogyny towards women, to name a few. I wanted a true representation of sex but also to portray ethical sex. I didn’t want anyone shamed, humiliated, or harmed, or to depict any situation that would be deemed wrong, ie: cheating or incest. I wanted people to feel good and to feel good about themselves after watching our art.

As I explained my desire to Kama, he instantly caught the vision and whole heartedly supported my efforts. Together we took the leap from photography to film. A whole new world!!! Our first obstacle hit immediately. We had to decide how we would stand out. We both felt that anyone could make “pretty” “feminine” porn, but what would differentiate us from the old formulas and still maintain an audience?

In the films we wanted to produce, I wanted to use real life couples and singles who had actual passionate connections. I wanted to treat them as real actors, not sex workers. The idea was to form a “Team” we would work with. A group of friends who we would watch and see who was mixing and mingling and had that certain “spark” that we would capture. When we would film them, there would be none of that awkwardness of two people just meeting and being told to have sex. We would capture the true magic of respectful, loving, HOT sex.

I wanted to show all the sex in context. I wanted to do short little features from 5 to perhaps 30 minutes in length. The films would all have stories with a beginning, middle and end, with the sex naturally coming into the story line. I wanted to shoot with the same style, class, and high quality that our photography company had been known for. I wanted to marry Hollywood with MTV with real sex. I had a vision, but we were missing an important piece. I had a certain look in my head of how I wanted these films to appear, even feel like, but I knew that Kama and I somehow just couldn’t catch it by ourselves. There was a particular energy that I just felt we were not tapping into.

Enter Cortez. . .

Cortez and I discovered each other on a photoshoot back in 2014. An ambitious young man who had just dropped out of college in Florida to pursue his passion of firefighting in his home state of Colorado. He casually mentioned a video he was working on during a break and I made him show it to me. Being completely self-taught using substandard software and equipment, he did so bashfully, thinking his efforts would be received politely and then forgotten. What I saw blew me away. His editing and filming approach was exactly what I had envisioned for Spark Erotic. It was as if what I saw inside, he was producing. I began to shiver thinking of what his potential truly was if this is what I was seeing when he was just “fooling around”. I knew I had found the missing piece, here was the energy I’d been seeking. I poured out my vision to him and he felt it too. Kama and Cortez also had a great connection instantly. They both have the same love for the art of filmmaking and for mastering their different aspects of editing.

We poured ourselves into the homework of filmmaking. Out of the three of us, I had the most background in the field. My Mother was an artist who worked in many different mediums, one being photography. By the time I was 5, I was falling asleep to the sound of her working away in her darkroom in the basement below me. I loved joining her there. Bit by bit she explained each process and let me begin to work and learn the art of black and white film processing. I always possessed a camera and was encouraged to take photos and to work in the darkroom. In college I majored in theatre and often worked as an actor in small budget and student films.

Cortez had done a little modeling and had worked as an extra on a Hollywood feature. Kama has an amazing ability to research and learn so his understanding came from this and the decade of experience with our photography. This is the extent of our qualifications. We had to learn by doing and stumbling around and figuring things out on the fly. And, I should honestly reveal, we still are!

Kama lead us into watching all sorts of film tutorials. We drank those in…..we still do. Our friends complain that they can no longer enjoy watching movies or TV shows with us. We are always pausing, rewinding, discussing every nuance. Every image is school to us. We find inspiration everywhere and strive to surpass expectations.

It took almost a year for us to set the foundation of Spark Erotic. We had the vision and philosophy behind what we do, but now we had to build the infrastructure. Kama and Cortez went to work on creating our wonderful website and establishing distribution channels, while I began to develop our social media strategies and reach out to our communities, bringing awareness to who and what we were about.

We worked together to “dreamstorm” great stories that we began to turn into screenplays, storyboards and shot lists. We set up lights and did mock shoots to discover how best to capture the style we were going for. We discussed soundtracks, props, locations, makeup……..we’ve had to learn every aspect of our art and wear every single hat between the three of us. We’ve had to carefully judge each of our skill sets and match them to the responsibilities of each element of managing the building of the reality of Spark Erotic.

Within that year of preparation, growth and learning, one of the most important intentions was to build meaningful relationships with people so we could invite just the right personalities onto the Team. The building of our Team is at the core of who and what we are and want to represent. Our vision is to have our Team of singles and couples develop authentic relationships we can then capture with true passion and desire flying between them. Each Team Member is carefully chosen on the basis of their personalities to fit into the company for this very reason. Together we find time to come together to enjoy each other’s personalties and to work as a group to discuss ideas for new storylines to develop. We listen closely to their fantasies and work to make them a reality. By using their very real sexual daydreams, together we bring magic to the screen. We are co-workers, but also close friends.

Redemption was the first film from our foundational year. We felt we had created an amazing first effort with our intrepid newcomer, Rogue. Her incredible performance had left us stunned. It obviously left a mark on our viewers as well. Our first official “showing” was at AVN to a tight group of highly respected and experienced producers, directors, and cinematographers. Their collective praise for Redemption created quite a buzz, and we were told we were “on to something.” Within months of release, Redemption peaked international interest after receiving an award of merit at the 2016 Brief’s Erotic Short Film Competition. It went on to acquire official selections in Film Festivals in Milwaukee, Toronto, and Barcelona.

Redemption’s success helped launch us to the next level. Important people within the Industry began to take notice of us. Erica Lust, saw Redemption, took notice, and contacted us.

Early into this whole journey, Cortez brought Erica’s TED Talk, Time for Porn to Change, to my attention. The first time I watched, my whole body broke into goosebumps and I began to shake. She was verbalizing on a broad international platform everything I felt and believed and envisioned. When I had tried to tell people what I saw Spark Erotic being and doing, everything she was saying, was what I had said. I felt so encouraged and emboldened from her speech. I saw that there were pioneers out there who were boldly blazing ahead with this movement. Immediately she became my new idol, my mentor, my S’hero! I wanted to grow up and be her – a sexually liberated and powerful woman who was changing the face of the porn industry.

When I envisioned what Spark Erotic would be, I saw it as a part of a new Sexual Revolution – a way to positively and authentically produce sexual images that drew people into it as art. That the sex would flow naturally from a story; it would be in context. The people portrayed would be real couples, or individuals, who had deep attachment and passion for each other, which would translate to sexuality and sex that would feel natural, honest and hot!

We saw the films themselves as being educational as well; in that the sex was so real and sensual, people would see true human interaction, not the awkward performance based on unnatural acts of common pornography. We wanted to give people an honest place to enhance their own sexual response from. Finally, we wanted to make a clear distinction between porn and erotica in our audiences’ minds as well. Which is a whole other post in itself……

Erica’s studio in Barcelona is, in my opinion, currently the finest producer and curator of erotica on the planet. We have had the good fortune and privilege of being asked to sign with them. Our art is being launched internationally by her. We could not be more thrilled or feel more honored. We are looking to hang our hat with several more distinguished companies and will be pursuing those options in the very near future.

Spark Erotic has now produced several stimulating features that we have shared with you, our favorite audience, our Patreon supporters. We are so grateful that you have appreciated our efforts and have come along side us to carry the vision forward. We are excited you have chosen to join the Erotic Revolution!!!

We are still a super small company. Because of that, we so greatly value your backing. By becoming a member here, you become part of our Team, helping us to move forward in all things Spark. We are thankful that so many friends have offered their time, talents and resources to also further our efforts.

We are excited as we look forward to the New Year and the continued growth of Spark. With your support we will carry forward the good work of happy, healthy sexuality and relationships through the medium of film and photography.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for coming along side, affirming and supporting the dream!

breasts

Urvashi’s Blog

Why I Strip… III

BY URVASHI

Women are the most beautiful creatures ever. You can just get lost in them. I can stare at a photo of a woman forever and pour over every nuance. There have been very few times I have felt envy over another’s beauty, more curiosity and awe. To a greater degree, they have been teachers, these women and their photographers. 

I’ve been criticized for falling into the femininity forged by men. That of red pouting lips, of James Bond conquests, of Victoria’s Secret Angels…….The sexy vixen made for a man’s pleasure. I must admit, from a young age I was always drawn to the feminine as an etherial being. I loved fairy tales of fair maidens, whose beauty was stuff of legends, that caused brave handsome men to face death to be worthy of her adoration. The books that transported me into this fantasy came fully equipped with all the imagery to fully complete the luxury and perfection of not only the women involved, but their environment as well. There was the finest art that depicted the most delicate and exquisite females I could ever imagine. It never really mattered that these were fairy tales and the pictures were in truth drawings. The effect was the same as if it had been real. I wanted to be as lovely and graceful and powerful as these women were. 

Powerful? Now that is not a term you think of with those damsels in these old stories. For the most part, these gals are usually either born poor, or have had their wealth taken. They appear endlessly in need of rescue by a rich, handsome, strapping lad. So where is their power? In their very nature. In their ability to BE feminine. By their good virtue they could cause sane men to throw caution to the wind. For their beauty, they took on untold dangers. For their love……they sacrificed all. Now who was the powerful one? 

Not all of these stories that I poured over had depictions of the feminine as the weaker sex. I learned, along with the beauty, virtue, and honor these women possessed in abundance, they were also not in short supply of intelligence, courage and strength. At times these heroines faced great odds and were the ones to save the day, at considerable cost to themselves. There was a princess who had to endure each step she took being as if stepping on burning coals and sharp blades in order to cross a gulf to rescue her lover. Or one where the lady had to cut off her own pinky finger to save her family. There were stories of women who outwitted their enemies and turned the table on their foes. I was getting a great education on the fullness of the feminine spirit. She could be pouty and sexy, and independent and capable to boot. Every story I read had one other thing in common. All fairy tales, for the most part in Western culture, revolve around the female. Again, I ask….who has power in these stories???

There was a book in my orthodontist’s office when I was 13 that I always looked at. Every appointment for the next two years I would look forward to sitting in the waiting room just to gaze at that hardcover portfolio. I wish I had it today. It was a large hard bound tome filled front to back with photos of women taken by celebrated photographers. Some of the women were famous, some were not. All were stunning. Breathtaking. Again, though this expression, as in the fairy tales, I felt the feminine power ooze from the pages. I was young, but I got it. That book oozed SEX. Don’t get me wrong, it was a Time/Life book. It was very proper. Most of the photos were of the women’s faces, or of them artfully draped in 1940’s – 70’s glamour shots. Very few were racy, even by 1980’s standards. There was the classic photo of Marilyn Monroe, for example, with her white dress blowing around her legs, but that was about as juicy as it got. But I felt it….

The absolute power of feminine sensuality.

And I wanted it.

Urvashi’s Blog

Why I Strip… II

BY URVASHI

I’ve been fascinated with women and sexuality for as long as I can remember. My strongest memory I have of that as I look back on it now, was very defining. It really pin pointed who I was to become as a feminine and sexual being. 

Before I go into the memory, there should be some history. I was adopted at two months of age into a very conservative family. From the moment I began to have a sense of self I sorta knew I was very different than my family. I was one of, eventually, five siblings, all adopted from different families, from different places, from different racial backgrounds, at different times. While I felt that the rest of the family had a cohesiveness, I was always on the outside desperately trying to fit in. Everything about me seemed wrong to my family.

I was, at the start, a very sensual person, which freaked the crap out of my Mother. I do not mean I was a sexual child, I was sensual. I had to experience everything with my whole being. For example, I would look at a leaf wondering at every nuance, rub it against my skin, taking in textures, taste it gently on my tongue, pull in the fragrance with my breath, listen to the tree wiggling in the breeze as I would lean against the bark, then I would talk about everything I had taken in to whoever or whatever was there. I had no problem discussing my revelations with a person, the clouds, or a shiny passing bug. 

Now the weird thing about this was, that to me, this was just a normal thing, the state of wonderment of life. Being part of a beautiful huge energy that I felt flowed around me and through me. To my Mother, for some reason, it translated as sexual. She felt that at age two, I was trying to seduce people. She threw this into my face in a shaming and condemning way constantly and I had no idea what she meant. I simply felt there was something wrong or bad about this side of me. But I could not help it. I simply had to fully appreciate things. If I felt something, I expressed it. 

I developed a high artistic aesthetic sense, specially concerning feminine figures. I was drawn to pictures and photos of beautiful women. I watched them move gracefully through life. I studied their clothing, jewelry, makeup. I wanted to be beautiful, glamorous, and though I couldn’t have articulated it exactly then, …….desired. 

That is why this memory has always been on the forefront of my consciousness when I think of my personal journey to becoming a woman. 

I was around four when the family took a trip to New York City. One of the things we did was go to Broadway and watch a musical. As we poured out of the theatre into the tantalizing night of sparkling city streets, I saw the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen. She had a very tight, sexy, yet tasteful dress on. There was a fur shrug casually thrown across delicate shoulders. Incredible baubles decorated her ears, neck, arms, and fingers. Her hair looked like she’d stepped off of a movie set, and her makeup was flawless. I stopped in front of her and just stared. My Mother, herding her group of duckings, quickly noticed one was missing. Panicked she turned to see me in conversation with this etherial stranger. I remember the tight look she gave the woman before she coldly and politely extracted me. I could not understand why my Mother so obviously did not like this very nice pretty lady. I started talking about how wonderful she was and my Mother stopped dead and with intensity told me she was a bad woman. I asked why and she told me she was a Prostitute. Of course that went right over my head. So she carefully said, “She is a woman who men spend money to be with.” Oooooooops! If giving me the label Prostitute had meant nothing to a four year old, this explanation didn’t clear it up but only hit all my buttons. I remember breathing in with a gasp and blurting out, “Ohhhhhhhh, I want to grow up to be her!!! Men would want me all the time!” 

Can you just imagine my Mother taking that in?!? Trust me, that simple exchange colored my life with her from that moment on. She became my sexual watchdog. Guarding and shaming everything she deemed had any stain of sexuality at all. Despite her best efforts, my spirit secretly rebelled. I had two lives, the one I lived for my parents, and the one I ran for myself. I locked myself into my bedroom constantly, hardly spending any time with my family at all. I began to watch myself carefully in the mirror. I worked to emulate the grace of women I admired. I studied movie starlets, models, and beautiful women all around me. I practiced walking, sitting, standing, gesturing. Though my Mother forbid makeup, I began buying it secretly and practicing tirelessly the techniques I would glean from the makeup counter girls. I also started amassing a lingerie collection I hid away that I would dress up in and pose for myself in front of a mirror. A lot of my practice to becoming a woman I did privately. All signs had to be erased before I stepped outside my bedroom sanctuary. 

As I write this, it seems that I was really stuck on myself. I really wasn’t. I had actually no self esteem or ownership of this mysterious person I was feeling inside me. I was also conflicted because it was so ingrained in me to be ashamed and guilty about this part of me. “She” was dangerous and had to be controlled and hidden. The only place it was safe to be “Her” was in my bedroom, by myself. In everyday life I was a tom boy. I was always in sweats and huge t-shirts. My hair in a pony tail, tucked into a cap. I hung with boys, but they thought of me as one as well. 

I wasn’t until I ran away to college that I began to let Her out. I felt safer to explore this inner personality. Sadly, because of the years of stamping it down and the tapes of my Mother and society condemning me, I let Her out, I wore Her, but I couldn’t own Her, live in Her. I still thought of Her as trouble. I really didn’t believe I was beautiful at all. She did get me noticed in ways I had never imagined. I was approached three times by Playboy to model, and on the third time, I accepted the offer to go for Centerfold. I did the shoot. It was incredible. A dream. For a moment in time I believed. I felt the power. It felt like I had been chosen to be the most sexy woman in the world. But something about that scared me to my core. I could not really feel it was me, that it was real, that it was deserved. Deep down, I really felt like an impostor. I felt ugly and dirty. 

I began to panic. I called my Father and told him I was going to be a Centerfold. He had such a positive reaction it pulled me into a different reality. I had been repeatedly sexually abused as a young child into my budding adulthood. My Father’s reaction to his daughter being sexually open scared me. It felt so inappropriate. Then I thought of my siblings and their reactions. How their lives would be changed by my decision. Their friend’s reactions. My friend’s reactions. I thought of my parents and their standing in their community and what that would mean to them. I thought of my own future. How I would be forever perceived. All of a sudden, more than anything, I didn’t want to be a Centerfold. And then the impossible happened……….. Playboy lost all my paperwork, most importantly…….my model release and contract. They called me down to headquarters to redo it all and I never went……..

I struggled with my sexuality, sensuality, and femininity for years. The more I distanced myself from my family, the easier it became to wear the persona on the outside. But it was not until I met my husband and he not only gave me permission, but called Her out of me, could I fully integrate. One of the greatest gifts he has given me is the power of fully being my true feminine self. He called Her who She is…..Urvashi, and that is who I am. 

What does this have to do with Stripping? More to come…..

Urvashi’s Blog

Why I Strip…

BY URVASHI

URVASHI…….A HINDU NYMPH, A LOT LIKE THE GREEK MUSES, WHO EMBODIES THE ESSENCE OF FEMININITY, DRIVING MEN TO DISTRACTION WITH DESIRE, YET BEING HIGHLY ELUSIVE….. THIS IS THE NAME I WAS GIVEN BY MY HUSBAND TO CELEBRATE MY DANCE WITH THE FEMININE.

I AM THE CREATIVE EYE AND DIRECTOR OF URVASHI’S EYE PHOTOGRAPHY AND EROTIC SPARK FILM PRODUCTIONS. I’VE MADE IT MY LIFE’S WORK TO STUDY AND EMBODY THE FEMININE SPIRIT AND TO HELP OTHER WOMEN DISCOVER AND UNLOCK IT WITHIN THEMSELVES.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU HEAR ABOUT PEOPLE HAVING THESE GREAT IDEAS THAT WAKE THEM AT NIGHT THAT THEY JUST CAN’T IGNORE? THE IDEAS THAT END UP BECOMING LIFE CHANGERS? MINE CAME AFTER A STARLING DISCUSSION WITH A FRIEND ON THE EVE OF HER THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY.

WE WERE AT A LUSH EVENT, TESS WAS LOOKING RADIANT, EXCITED, AND HAPPY. SHE HAPPILY ANNOUNCED, WITHOUT ANY HESITATION, EMBARRASSMENT, OR ARTIFICE HER AGE TO ALL WHO CAME TO WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I MENTIONED TO HER HOW REFRESHING IT WAS TO OBSERVE A WOMAN EMBRACE HER AGE INSTEAD OF DECRYING IT. I ASKED WHAT SHE WAS DOING TO CELEBRATE HERSELF ON THIS AUSPICIOUS YEAR OF HER WOMANHOOD, AND SHE PLACED HER HAND ON MY ARM AND WITH A GLINT IN HER EYE AND A QUICK UPTURNING OF HER LIPS, SHE LEAD ME ASIDE.

“I AM GIVING MYSELF A GIFT THIS YEAR.” SHE STARTED BREATHLESSLY, GRIPPING MY HANDS AND LOOKING DEEP INTO MY EYES. “I AM GOING TO BECOME A STRIPPER!”

NOW I CONSIDER MYSELF VERY OPEN MINDED AND NON JUDGMENTAL, BUT I WAS TAKEN COMPLETELY ABACK. HERE WAS THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, I HAD NO DOUBT SHE WOULD COMMAND ANY MAN’S ATTENTION, IT WAS THE INTENTION BEHIND HER ANNOUNCEMENT THAT HAD ME PERPLEXED.

SHE FIT NONE OF MY, ADMITTEDLY NAIVE, IDEAS OF WHO GRAVITATED TOWARDS WANTING TO BECOME AN EXOTIC DANCER. SHE WAS IN A STABLE, LOVING RELATIONSHIP. SHE HAD A HOME, A CAREER, A “NORMAL” LIFE. SHE HADN’T COME FROM SOME HORRIBLE ABUSE NOR DID SHE APPEAR TO BE RUNNING FROM DADDY ISSUES. SHE HAD MONEY, STABILITY, SOCIAL STANDING…..IT JUST DIDN’T FIT. SOMETHING JUST CLICKED, SHE HAD ME, AND I WAS INSTANTLY INTRIGUED. FASCINATED. HOOKED.

“TELL ME ABOUT IT.” I GENUINELY URGED. REASSURED BY MY REACTION SHE PLUNGED INTO A TANGLE OF WORDS DESCRIBING FEMININE LONGING, PERSONAL CHALLENGE, OVERCOMING FEARS, AND LOVING SERVICE. SHE ASSURED ME, AT MY INQUIRY, THAT BRIAN, HER MATE, FULLY SUPPORTED HER DESIRE. I INSTANTLY KNEW SOMETHING IMPORTANT WAS HAPPENING AND I KNEW I HAD TO SEE HER PERFORM. I ASKED HER TO KEEP ME ABREAST OF HER PLANS AND LET ME KNOW WHEN I COULD COME AND WATCH HER.

AS WE MOVED TO JOIN THE ANIMATED CROWD AROUND US, SHE DREW ME CLOSE FOR ONE LAST REVELATION, “AND AV. IS DOING IT FOR HER BIRTHDAY TOO……”

NOW I WAS REALLY SPINNING. AVALON, ANOTHER FRIEND OF MINE, AKIN TO TESS. NOTHING LEAD ME TO THINK OF HER AS HAVING THIS AMBITION EITHER. AS TESS PASSED ME OFF TO AVALON TELLING HER OF THE DISCLOSURE, WE HAD A DELIGHTFUL CONVERSATION WHERE SHE EXPRESSED ALONG MANY OF THE SAME THEMES AS TESS.

WE ENDED THE EVENING VOWING TO TALK MORE AND WITH THE PROMISE OF COMING TO SEE THEM DANCE AT THE SOONEST OCCASION.

THAT NIGHT I WOKE FROM A DEAD SLEEP WITH THE IDEA THAT THESE WOMEN WERE NOT NECESSARILY DOING SOMETHING UNIQUE. THAT THERE WAS, PERHAPS, A NEW TREND IN THE SEARCH FOR THE FEMININE WITHIN WOMEN THEMSELVES. THESE WOMEN HAD DISCUSSED THEIR DESIRE TO DANCE EROTICALLY FOR MEN IN VERY CONFIDENT, PERSONAL, EMPOWERING WAYS. IT WAS MORE ABOUT A JOURNEY TO DISCOVER THE DEPTHS OF THEIR OWN SENSUAL FEMININE POWER, AND TO MINISTER AND LOVE MEN THROUGH IT. I REALIZED I HAD SEEN GLIMPSES OF THIS GOING ON AROUND ME. WOMEN CLAIMING THEIR FEMININITY, SENSUALITY, AND SEXUALITY IN A WAY THAT SOCIETY HAD NEVER AFFORDED FEMALES IN RECENT HISTORY. WOMEN BECOMING CONFIDENT AND POWERFUL IN THEIR SENSE OF SELF. WOMEN DECIDING TO EXPLORE WHAT IT MEANT TO THEM, NOT WHAT SOCIETY HAD TOLD THEM IT HAD TO BE.

I WANTED TO DOCUMENT THIS. THAT IS WHAT POPPED INTO MY MIND AS I LAY IN BED WIDE AWAKE AND EXCITED. I WAS INSPIRED BY MY FRIEND’S COURAGE. I WANTED TO SHOW ANOTHER STORY THAN THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN BEATEN INTO OUR HEADS ABOUT STRIPPING. I WANTED TO SHOWCASE THIS NEW BREED OF WOMAN. TO LET HER TAKE STRIPPING BACK. FOR IT TO EMPOWER HER AND OTHERS. I WANTED TO TELL A POSITIVE STORY THAT LIFTED THE PROFESSION TO ANOTHER LEVEL.

I BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE FASCINATED BY STRIPPERS AND THE WORLD THEY INHABIT. TO BRING THESE SPECIAL WOMEN TO LIFE AND CREATE A PLATFORM FOR THEM TO BE SEEN AS A WHOLE PACKAGE WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT WOULD ATTRACT A LOT OF POSITIVE ATTENTION. THE VISION I HAD WAS TO INTERVIEW THEM, ASKING THEM TO DESCRIBE HOW THEY CAME TO THE POINT OF TAKING THEIR FIRST STEP ONTO THE STAGE, TO HOW IT HAD AFFECTED THEM, HIGHLIGHTING THE POSITIVE ASPECTS. WE HAVE ALL HEARD THE HORROR STORIES. I WANTED THEM TO EXAMINE AND DISCUSS HOW IT HAD IMPACTED THEIR LIVES IN A WAY THAT HAD EMPOWERED, EMBOLDENED, AND ENCOURAGED THEM IN THEIR DAILY LIVES. THEN I WANTED TO PROVIDE FOR THEM AN ALL OUT EROTIC PHOTO SHOOT WITH OUR COMPANY, AND FINALLY, FILM THEM DANCING. A DANCE THEY DID FOR THEMSELVES. FURTHER THAN THAT, I ENVISIONED A FUTURE ON A SUBSCRIPTION WEBSITE WHERE FANS COULD INTERACT WITH THE PERFORMERS ON VARIOUS LEVELS DEPENDING ON THAT INDIVIDUAL DANCER’S DESIRE FOR INVOLVEMENT. EVERY WEEK A NEW LADY WOULD BE FEATURED.

THIS IS THE DREAM THAT STILL KEEPS ME AWAKE, MAKES MY ADRENALINE PICK UP, AND CONSTANTLY NAGS AT ME LIKE A SMALL CHILD TUGGING AT MY LEG…….”DO THIS!” IT DEMANDS…….

THIS IS MY LIFE CHANGER. IT HAS GIVEN ME A NEW PERSPECTIVE, ANOTHER WINDOW WITH WHICH TO VIEW AND ENGAGE WITH THE FEMININE SPIRIT IN ALL HER FORMS.

Taara’s Blog

Our Erotic Crusade

BY TAARA ROSE

Every day I observe events that deepen the fact that we still live in a male dominated society. Sure women can vote, work, and are free to make their own decisions. But when it comes to sex, or their individual sexuality, a grey area is formed. Things start to get taboo. It is almost as if it is more socially acceptable for a woman to be an object that is used rather than a human with feelings, emotions, desires, FANTASIES! I have a sense of where this is bred and this is why I have decided that I want to be a part of the change. I want to show to the world that I am a sexual creature as well. That I can enjoy my body, my sexual uniqueness and my fantasies as I please.

My intention is not to bash porn. There are plenty of great pornos I enjoy and masturbate to. However, I am picky when it comes to choosing one. I don’t want to see a Barbie doll, I want to see someone who kind of looks like me. I like seeing a nice cock, but I also want to see the man too. I want to know the woman is enjoying her scene and being respected; I don’t want to see her not having fun. I am sure most people have watched a porno where a woman is not enjoying herself and YOU CAN TELL. I can also tell you that if it was a woman watching, she was probably turned off and wasn’t able to climax.

Porn can change the way you think about people. People, especially women, start to become objects. They become body parts. They become things to be used rather than people to be loved. It is normal for women to be mistreated, humiliated, used, and insulted without their consent within porn. I am all for kink and BDSM but that is because there is a huge amount of communication, trust and CONSENT involved so everyone enjoys themselves. Porn is presented in a way that is easy for the man to project himself into the scene. You don’t see many from a woman’s POV. To be honest, hardly any attention is paid towards the woman’s pleasure, which is where this imbalance all begins.

The younger generations, who are on the brink of discovering their sexuality, watch this imbalance portrayed in porn and assume this is “how things are”. The cycle will continue unless we have people, women, step up and say “This is not how I pleasure myself – I have a choice”. I do not see any reason why a porno cannot present a woman as a human being who is equal to the man when it comes to her sexual desires and pleasure. Why can’t we see a relationship between the characters?  Why can’t we see them both enjoying the interaction? In real life we have sex to enjoy ourselves, so why does that have to change on film?

I have seen with my own eyes women who go weak kneed during a passionate scene on film. I get it, it is hot. We LOVE that passion. And I know men like it too. Erotica, feminist porn, female friendly porn, ethical porn, whatever you want to call it, is a part of a growing movement. The sex-positive movement. And we are so excited to be a part of this growing campaign. We feel it is incredibly important for people to start stepping up and showing the world what sex is really like. We want to share the passion we feel together and we desire to evoke this feeling in others too.

Taara’s Blog

A LITTLE ABOUT JAMES

BY TAARA ROSE

When I met James he was freshly out of a relationship and I was in the wrong one. We worked together and shared an office so we were bound to talk and get to know each other. Although I wasn’t that fond of his cocky early twenty-something attitude, we soon found a common interest in electronic music and sex. I shared a few crazy stories I had from getting my toes wet in the Lifestyle and he would tell me about his weekend conquers.

Our friendship grew every day as we talked more and got to know each other. The REAL each other – I certainly didn’t feel the need to impress him by not being myself. It was easy to be ourselves around each other. I learned that I assumed wrong with his cockiness. He wasn’t cocky – he was confident. James beat his own drum and didn’t let others’ perceptions bother him. He did what he wanted to be happy and I actually admired that a lot in him.

The friendship we created laid the foundation to build a great relationship upon. Our communication only happened face to face in the office as we shared a SMALL office together. We didn’t become Facebook friends right away; we didn’t text or call each other outside of work. We didn’t have drinks to “lighten the mood” when we talked and we both had to learn how to deal with snappiness towards each other when we were under pressure. We shared a lot about ourselves to each other in a way that most couples can’t anymore when budding a new relationship. We became quite close and at this point sex hadn’t even entered the picture yet as I was still in the wrong relationship!

I actually barely remember the whole break-up ordeal I went through with the ex. It was messy and I was a wreak afterwards. What I do remember is James being the first person I had to talk to when I came into work after the weekend. I cried to him and he hugged and consoled me; he did his best to be genuine and help me see the bright side.

Shortly after becoming single, I asked some work friends to hit up happy hour with me – James included. They obliged and we made plans to go to a super trendy restaurant downtown.

As most nights go, drinks turned into shooters and shooters led to me getting a little more than tipsy. My drunken playful confidence started to surface and James and I started teasing each other flirtatiously. We knew each other well but I never really looked at him that way! Never did I consider fucking him; he was younger – my age – and from my previous experiences with younger men I assumed it could only be mediocre sex. I complained to a friend nearby that I needed a sex buddy. She pointed to the James and said “there you go!” I giggled and said “I think I would destroy him.” Little did I know…

After wrapping up the evening at the bar, three of us headed back to James’. I felt the shooters strongly following the walk to his apartment and stared to fall asleep on the couch. Everyone was being noisy so I opted to go to his bedroom to have a nap. We were friends and I knew he didn’t mind. In his bed, I took of my pants and fell asleep. Looking back, part of me was definitely pushing the boundaries to see what would happen next when he found me.

I have no idea how much time had passed before I was woken awake by his hand creeping down on my ass. He looked at me with pure animal rage and growled “Are you ready to be destroyed?” I really had no time to collect myself or figure out what was happening because at that moment he took control of me. Kissing my lips hard, grabbing a fist full of hair and snapping my neck back he nipped my neck hard enough to make me lose my breath. I was into this…I could play this game.

He pinned my hands down over my head, his free hand grabbed my breast. Hard. Forceful. I was taken aback by this guy, I underestimated him. I could feel the sexual energy coursing through his body and into mine, and knew I was in for a treat. He devoured all of me. He licked my clit with such intensity and fingered my pussy until I squirted all over his face. I may enjoy taking everything I can from a man, but I equally enjoy giving it back. I made sure to blow his mind with my mouth. I shoved his hard big cock deep in my mouth and down my throat. I took all of him in my mouth and sucked hard. Every bit of detail and attentiveness he gave to my pussy, I wanted to return to his cock. He needed to know how much I enjoyed him taking control of body.

When he was close to cumming from my mouth worship, he threw me down, pulled out a condom and put it on. He thrust hard into me and made me cry out. My body was tingling – he fucked me so hard and so good. He wouldn’t stop, he would just pound me as deep as he could get. He held me down and wasn’t scared to push my limits; he made me cum over and over. When he needed a break, I would take my turn sucking his cock. When he got his strength he would fuck me again. This went on for over 3 hours. Bliss. Heaven.

The sexual chemistry was NUTS between the two of us. We are, however, two very stubborn people and neither of us was ready to be a relationship. We played the dance of best-friends/fuck-friends for nearly a year and a half. It was the most complicated non-relationship I have ever experienced! We learned a lot about each other and over time it became obvious that a relationship made sense. We had both grown enough separately to be able to start to grow together. So far, it’s been a pretty amazing experience!

Taara’s Blog

MY BIO

BY TARRA ROSE

Sexuality is an important part of who you are. Man or woman, somewhere deep down, we all possess desires, urges, and fantasies. Whether you choose to acknowledge this or not is a hundred percent up to you. However, I believe, you do not know your true self until you have become aware of your sexuality and accept all of you for who you are.

I have accepted my sexuality and invite others to do the same. It is a beautiful, freeing experience that has brought me closer to loving my true self. Through this process I have been slut-shamed, body shamed and FELT ashamed. What I did learn, however, is these opinions, these fact-less sentences invented by others, were not actually who I was. They were created because another person felt insecure about their sexuality or their relationship with sexuality, and wanted me to feel the same way.

I enjoy sex. Sexuality courses freely through my body and I feel my desires and urges every day. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who celebrate this way of being. My boyfriend James, our friends, and some family support and honor sexuality within everyone. The more I accept myself and encourage my sexual growth, the more I feel like me. I no longer worry about what I look like while James and I are fucking nor worry if I am not orgasming fast enough – or too soon for that matter! I’m not afraid to ask him if we can invite another woman, or man, into the bedroom. I am grateful for my sexual uniqueness!

Unfortunately, this is not true for most women out there. We live in a highly sexualized environment which, to be honest, is generated mostly to appease men. Everything around us is very much sexualized, but if a woman decides to be sexual she is slut-shamed and made to feel like her desires are inappropriate. It can be very confusing out there and in the end I think most women give up on honoring who they are and their sexuality. It is concerning that this is still a problem in 2016.

As a younger teenager I would look through racy magazines, watch sexy movies and videos and gawk at the beautiful women who seduced me and sparked something erotic in me. I thought sexuality was a beautiful thing and sought out more information. I found The Joy of Sex hidden in my parents’ closet and made regular visits to that book. To me it illustrated a beautiful exploration of one another’s bodies. A true love, understanding, and appreciation for each other was portrayed on every page and I eagerly awaited the day that I would find someone to explore with. Little did I know though, the repercussions that surrounded being a sexualized woman in everyday life.

I discovered society was quick to pass judgment on a female who was sexually aware and open and men were quick to use them. I stuffed my desires down and decided it was best not to share them – I didn’t want to be known as the slut, whore, or whatever offensive name sexually liberated women were given. Over time, as I denied myself the wholeness of ME, it wasn’t easy to handle. I made choices for myself that aligned with everyone else’s opinions of me and denied what I wanted. Eventually the repressed sexual goddess inside of me had enough and I could not ignore her any longer.

When I became single, I discovered I was in charge of my sexuality and desires. I slowly became more true to myself and honest about what I wanted to experience. Now I had the opportunity to build my sexual confidence again. I sought out information about different sexual communities like the Swinging Lifestyle. I experimented with women, I experimented with BDSM…and I learned it was ok. I was honest with myself about what I wanted to experience. I became aware of my boundaries and made certain I communicated them with other people I experimented with. I was playing safe and I felt it really wasn’t anyone else’s business about what my sexual side did but me. Before, I use to feel ashamed of my sexuality, but over time I learned that you just need to put it out there – who you are. Once you release who you are, accept who you are, that shame you felt before loses its strength and its power.

During my sexual revolution, I met someone. He was the first man I met whose sexuality aligned with mine and I welcomed it! It was refreshing to have a sexual partner who was as kinky and open as me. We remained friends (who fucked!) for a long time before discovering we had to be together. What I have experienced with him validated to me the fact that I was not “weird” or “fucked up”. I just wanted more from sex. I wanted to express and embrace the wild woman inside of me. Together we embarked on our sexual journey and have experienced so much together.

His love for who I naturally am inspired me to share our story on Sex Uninterrupted. I ache to have all women feel satisfied sexually; no matter how reserved or how wild. And I desire to have men understand the sexual goddess in all of us!

Taara’s Blog

WHY THE SWINGING LIFESTYLE

BY TAARA ROSE

I never woke up one day magically craving an open relationship and announcing that I wanted to be a Swinger.  For a long time it wasn’t even something I was familiar with.  Here and there I would kiss girls at the bar, manhandle gorgeous big boobs and always thought the female body was sexually appealing – but a Swinger?  No…

I found swinging through an ex. He was fairly experienced and to tell you the truth, it came naturally to me.  I was in the midst of my own sexual revolution and the concept seemed attractive and intriguing.  He introduced me to a group of couples who were involved in Swinging Lifestyle (LS) and I honestly felt like for the first time, in a very long time, I was encouraged to be my sexy self.  I realized one common thing that forced me to gravitate towards these people.  They were real with each other, one hundred per cent themselves.

If you are in an amazing relationship I am a FIRM believer that being involved in the LS can help you reach that next level. When I became single after that relationship, I experimented a lot. With other women, men, groups, couples…sex was natural, real, and genuinely got my attention.

When James and I became a couple, we expected that things would not be the “norm”. We took to the LS pretty quickly.  I got turned on thinking about multiple people totally letting loose together in orgasmic ecstasy.  I loved the fact that afterwards, you still are with someone who loves and cares for you and who cherishes the memories of a crazy sexy night with you.  Who wouldn’t want to try it out…at least once?

Another quality I enjoy about the LS is that you are driven to be your honest self and accept who you are.  It pushes you to figure out what YOU want as well as what you don’t want.  You have to learn to be ok with your body physically and accept your beauty.  When you are being fucked by your boyfriend at an adult club in front of twenty or so people, you cannot be focused on what your breasts look like in some position.  You have to be focused on what you two have going on together!

Through our experiences, I have also realized that you can never judge a book by its cover.  As a person, I’d like to think I have become less judgmental.  Most of the couples we have met seem like everyday people you would see holding hands walking down the street.  A few drinks and laughs later, though, some pretty freaky things are going on between the four of us in some hotel room!  People can be crazy sexy when you least expect it.

The LS is what you make it!  As a couple, you must set your boundaries and rules together.  Can you guess what that means?  A lot of communicating.  You both have to be able to discuss what your rules are (i.e. must use condoms, same room play, etc.), what your boundaries are, what your fantasies are, what couple you think sounds ok to meet up with/hook up with/talk to/peruse.  I mean, honestly, as a couple, we are always talking about these things.  They are ever changing and ever evolving depending where you are as a person and where you both are as a couple.  It is an extremely healthy requirement to be on the same page.  Even recollecting together the day after a sexy night opens up doors to knowing what your partner is turned on by.

I don’t look back on deciding on being open to this type of lifestyle with any sense of regret.  For years I believed this type of sexual discovery was only attainable by being single.  I have extreme gratitude for finding someone who is not only aware of this part of me, but also accepts and encourages me (not to mention being right there with me!).  If the time comes that this doesn’t work anymore, we will deal with that then.  For now, we are enjoying this sexy lifestyle and very much in love!

Kama’s Corner

Can you name some tastefully done erotic movies that couples can enjoy?

BY KAMA

I can. . . what I think you’re really looking for is an existing, but developing genre of quality within adult films. Sadly, most of the “erotic” films produced these days are intended for a male audience and meant as a replacement for actual sexual interaction, not an appetizer for the same.

The desire to watch erotica as a couple is natural, but the films that balance male and female desires are rare. I would highly suggest you check out offerings from Erika Lust, who we consider to be the premiere producer and curator of sex positive, female friendly, yet explicit, films. You can view these at a number of different sites:

LustCinema

Erotic Films.com

Lust Store

If you have not seen Erika’s TED talk on “It’s Time for Porn to Change”, it can be viewed at TED’s site or here on YouTube. She provides an inspiring perspective on how we can improve our portrayals of sexuality to be more balanced.

Our own efforts at Spark Erotic are very much in line with your desires. We’re an independent film company based in Colorado with a female director and a vision to produce erotica that honors everyone involved. Women’s objections to much of what is produced are valid because they are often simply objectified without much thought for what turns them on. There is a different way. . .