BY TARRA ROSE
Sexuality is an important part of who you are. Man or woman, somewhere deep down, we all possess desires, urges, and fantasies. Whether you choose to acknowledge this or not is a hundred percent up to you. However, I believe, you do not know your true self until you have become aware of your sexuality and accept all of you for who you are.
I have accepted my sexuality and invite others to do the same. It is a beautiful, freeing experience that has brought me closer to loving my true self. Through this process I have been slut-shamed, body shamed and FELT ashamed. What I did learn, however, is these opinions, these fact-less sentences invented by others, were not actually who I was. They were created because another person felt insecure about their sexuality or their relationship with sexuality, and wanted me to feel the same way.
I enjoy sex. Sexuality courses freely through my body and I feel my desires and urges every day. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who celebrate this way of being. My boyfriend James, our friends, and some family support and honor sexuality within everyone. The more I accept myself and encourage my sexual growth, the more I feel like me. I no longer worry about what I look like while James and I are fucking nor worry if I am not orgasming fast enough – or too soon for that matter! I’m not afraid to ask him if we can invite another woman, or man, into the bedroom. I am grateful for my sexual uniqueness!
Unfortunately, this is not true for most women out there. We live in a highly sexualized environment which, to be honest, is generated mostly to appease men. Everything around us is very much sexualized, but if a woman decides to be sexual she is slut-shamed and made to feel like her desires are inappropriate. It can be very confusing out there and in the end I think most women give up on honoring who they are and their sexuality. It is concerning that this is still a problem in 2016.
As a younger teenager I would look through racy magazines, watch sexy movies and videos and gawk at the beautiful women who seduced me and sparked something erotic in me. I thought sexuality was a beautiful thing and sought out more information. I found The Joy of Sex hidden in my parents’ closet and made regular visits to that book. To me it illustrated a beautiful exploration of one another’s bodies. A true love, understanding, and appreciation for each other was portrayed on every page and I eagerly awaited the day that I would find someone to explore with. Little did I know though, the repercussions that surrounded being a sexualized woman in everyday life.
I discovered society was quick to pass judgment on a female who was sexually aware and open and men were quick to use them. I stuffed my desires down and decided it was best not to share them – I didn’t want to be known as the slut, whore, or whatever offensive name sexually liberated women were given. Over time, as I denied myself the wholeness of ME, it wasn’t easy to handle. I made choices for myself that aligned with everyone else’s opinions of me and denied what I wanted. Eventually the repressed sexual goddess inside of me had enough and I could not ignore her any longer.
When I became single, I discovered I was in charge of my sexuality and desires. I slowly became more true to myself and honest about what I wanted to experience. Now I had the opportunity to build my sexual confidence again. I sought out information about different sexual communities like the Swinging Lifestyle. I experimented with women, I experimented with BDSM…and I learned it was ok. I was honest with myself about what I wanted to experience. I became aware of my boundaries and made certain I communicated them with other people I experimented with. I was playing safe and I felt it really wasn’t anyone else’s business about what my sexual side did but me. Before, I use to feel ashamed of my sexuality, but over time I learned that you just need to put it out there – who you are. Once you release who you are, accept who you are, that shame you felt before loses its strength and its power.
During my sexual revolution, I met someone. He was the first man I met whose sexuality aligned with mine and I welcomed it! It was refreshing to have a sexual partner who was as kinky and open as me. We remained friends (who fucked!) for a long time before discovering we had to be together. What I have experienced with him validated to me the fact that I was not “weird” or “fucked up”. I just wanted more from sex. I wanted to express and embrace the wild woman inside of me. Together we embarked on our sexual journey and have experienced so much together.
His love for who I naturally am inspired me to share our story on Sex Uninterrupted. I ache to have all women feel satisfied sexually; no matter how reserved or how wild. And I desire to have men understand the sexual goddess in all of us!